WhatsApp era! Girl you are dead!

                   

Disclaimer: All references are purely intentional.

I have never been a male chauvinistic person all my life but here is a comment that comes right from my heart:

“Boys make a better use of technology than what girls do.”

Mark Zuckerberg is the real bhai (brother) of billions of men around the globe as he has completely exposed the female mentality in front of the mankind. He has this amazing sense of identifying what will exploit them the most, evident by the multibillion deal Facebook made with WhatsApp. If Facebook didn’t do much to take away the precious time of its users, WhatsApp has publicly declared that it is here to kill. I am talking about the blue read receipts which it is offering now. 

Females would rather question my stance again for referring to girls stating that everyone is affected. But I am in no mood to leave the ground especially after knowing what you do and make of yourself.

On Girls changing their Display pics and status constantly:

Nowadays, Girls don’t travel the world for recreation and relaxation, they don’t go for a lunch/ dinner to eat, they don’t party to enjoy. They do it to click pictures to put them as their DP’s on WhatsApp. What a price!

If you see a girl changing her DP constantly, there is a huge possibility that she is doing that only to give the guys a reason to strike a conversation, to compliment her, to confirm what people think of her curves and edges. Then there are all sorts of WhatsApp status. One of my friend recently put her status as “I am so hot” with a smiley of fire. And after a week she changed it to “Don’t keep on looking at my status, get a life!” (Enough, now don’t start questioning in your mind why and how I read it: P)

There is a common problem these days that guys don’t really appreciate their girls. Ladies! If you make yourself so easily available that by merely texting you a few words we can get into your head, please be ready to facilitate our departure soon. We only value the things in life that we earn the hard way. We like the chase.

One may try and analyze why girls in particular are so vulnerable to this nonsense. A wise person will be of the opinion that females have this inherent need to be complimented. You tell a friend of yours- “Looking good”. She won’t thank you. Rather she will say- “What”. She wants to listen it again. She wants you to come up with more words. She cribs for that. She becomes ecstatic when she gets your approval, when nobody praises her she feels neglected. Girls! You really need that? Because if you don’t you really give us that impression.

Gone are the times when people use to nurture friendships and relationships gradually. It’s a WhatsApp era. You just find a phone number, forward a message or compliment/ comment on her DP/ status and the journey begins. I am sorry but the road you have taken up has a dead end. It will hurt you badly. It might kill all your hopes and aspirations. Most importantly it will kill the most important thing in the world- your time and along with it all your energies and your youth. Believe me we only like you when we see you progressing confidently in the direction of your goals, no matter how small or big they are. While we may get amused by your responses, we only like the girls who do not wear their hearts on their sleeves but on the place where it is meant to be.  You might get adulation of hundreds of boys but the right one will only come to you when you are at peace with yourself, when you are comfortable in your skin and when you don’t expose.

A guy once tried to educate me about relationships in life. According to him, just like five fingers, we have five imaginary boxes in life. He said we need to have every box filled all the time otherwise we will feel a void. These five boxes as he explained are parents, siblings, friends, a girl and money. He further explained that while we have no control over the first two boxes, we should constantly watch the other three. He was in a serious relationship for two years (which was his third), and then he just had an abrupt break up. The next day he proposed another girl on WhatsApp. He said he just needs someone to take care of him, to tease him, to flirt with him and date him. "guruji Aap Gyaani Hai, charan Kaha Hai Aapke (Reverend teacher, I would like to touch your feet)”. The irony is that this looser succeeds all the time and hurts someone. Please don’t be a victim because such people are everywhere.

“Last seen”- A new way of stalking!

One of my colleagues happened to be sitting beside me on the dinner table. I told her that I sleep early mostly by 10.30 PM to which she said that I was lying as she usually saw my “Last seen” to be past midnight. I was shocked. I have never interacted with her on WhatsApp. Then how come did she see my “Last seen”. Stop! Hey is that a new way of stalking? (Confession: I got a good feeling about it). It’s not just her. Many girls do that.

Boys! An advice! If your girl is online all the time, she is not talking to someone else.  She is just checking “Last seen” of everyone on her friend list. Or she is checking your “Last seen” when you are checking her “Last seen”. Hisab barabar (You guys are equal!). The next feature on WhatsApp would be “Last seen with”.

Most of my friends are busy with their WhatsApp’s even when we are sitting in a group. I wonder just to bring people who are far away a little close; we tend to distance the people who are actually sitting close.

I didn’t write this post to insult you or to smirk at what you do or to be patronizing. I just want to remind you that there is a reason we call you “fair sex”. You have a high emotional quotient than what we have. Don’t make a fool of yourself by seeking attention in such a way. We would like to see you carrying yourself confidently in real life scenarios. We have nothing to do with your WhatsApp DP or your status. We don’t judge you by that. We can’t resist talking to you when you shine with simplicity.

Good guys only like good girls! Not the ones obsessed with seeking attention.

It’s a New Year time. Among all the other resolutions you take, please take one to use WhatsApp wisely. Not for us but for yourself.

P.S- You won’t be able to check my WhatsApp last seen as I have disabled it. But I am eagerly waiting for your WhatsApp message! : P

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My CONFUSED RELATIONSHIP with life!

Some months ago, I was confused as hell. I had graduated from college a couple of years ago but still had no clue what I wanted to be. I switched between mediocre jobs, from an Engineer to a Business Development Executive to a Research Analyst. I had people issues, wasting my precious time and emotion for getting their adulation. I had no conventional hobbies aside from day dreaming. I had no clue who I was and what I wanted from life. I was in a desperate search to have these answers because I wanted to know what my “calling” was and where to find happiness and when life would finally make sense.

I tried a lot to find it out, until one day, I dropped the exhausting notion that I had to have it all figured out. For some time I just let it the way it was. 

I asked myself a simple question that had a huge impact on my thought process:

What’s the worst that could happen if I let go of needing to know all the answers? Can life ever be certain?

The worst that could happen is that I’ll end up lost in a sea of uncertainty. And then I thought, “Wait is that all”? “Aren’t I lost in that sea already?”

And so I decided, I might as well be where I’m already at. After all, my life wasn’t going to end if I didn’t know all the answers. I wasn’t going to fall off the edge of the earth or get eaten by a pack of bloodthirsty wolves. My Facebook account wasn’t going to get unexpectedly deleted. (Hey it’s important: P)

Is it even possible to have it all figured out? If we find a calling or a career that we really love, who’s to say that our calling won’t change (or that it shouldn’t change)? Who’s to say that our path won’t evolve? If we’ve found our lifetime love, who’s to say that our feelings won’t change or that this person will always feel the same way? Who’s to say that we might not lose that person someday?

Not to be depressing, but life is weird.

Who’s to even say that our life might not change in an instant? I lost my father in a sudden accident 7 years ago and my life completely changed from that very instance.

Maybe life is a never-ending mystery. It doesn't have to be a scary thing; instead, it can be freeing. I still do not have any answers and I am just as confused as I was. But I have a decent job, family and a few good friends. I try to do whatever little I can for them because I don't really know what else to do. I go to work every day and I still feel as if this isn’t quite it. I am confused if I am meant to live in my house or to travel the world; I wonder if I will ever find the right person or the right job (or if such a thing even exists). I still have no clue where my life is headed.

But at the same time, I have things figured out more than I ever have before. I’ve learned to look less to others for definition and more to myself. I no longer vouch for attention to feel like I’m somebody. For the first time in my life, I’d rather be alone than be untrue to myself. When people ask me about my passions, they are no longer greeted with the blank stare of a guy who spends all his time thinking. Instead, my answer is simple: I love the strange feeling of connecting to people on stage. This right here is what I love to do, and I’m doing it. So what if it’s not how I make a living; still, I am doing it. Still I am crumbling apart daily and yet falling back together in no time. I have very well accepted to be lost. It’s not butchering me anymore; in fact it brings me back to life.

She had tears in her eyes and I wondered why?

She was standing with her head held high finding it very difficult to keep her jaw intact, her teeth were moving up and down in quick succession, effortless tears occupied every inch of her face. She was shivering fiercely but held herself firm in the honor of the moment.

11th Aug, 2012- “See, this is the feeling which is worth it” said my roommate, both of us sitting far from home watching the telecast of London Olympics after a strenuous day's work.

Ethiopian Meseret Defar produced a home-stretch sprint to claim victory in the 5000 m event and timed it at 15 min 04.25 sec.

As per the tradition the national anthem of the country which got gold was played at the London Olympic's stadium. Ethiopia, an African country was lesser known.

She was literally overwhelmed as if in those 15 minutes, she lived her life. She was the most admired girl of the evening wearing her country flag as the whole stadium stood and saluted.

But did this all come in just 15 minutes? Or was it an endeavor of a life time? How much time she would have invested in the reckoning? How much youth and emotions had she sacrificed?

And yet in that single moment of watching your country's flag- celebrated, it was all worth. To know that tonight you may be the reason of a million smiles back home made it all justified.

She converted it all into gold which was pure than 24 carrots. (Truly an alchemist)

As I switched off the light, I could not help but ponder; is that single moment in people’s life that beautiful?

To the ones of her kind – It’s just a matter of time.

You drank the poison and gave me life!

We were sailing merrily towards the shore

Observing depth of the water, enjoying to the core.

With our boatman smart, loving and best,

Singing but vigilant created a spirit of fest.

A storm hit the waters, its impact so profound,

We lost our boatman, our minds nowhere to be found.

I saw you bleed and my heart ached,

Wounded by the cut which the destiny baked.

The next thing I saw you took the oars,

Dominated the charge and pacified all roars.

The boatman must love you more in the storm’s lap,

Watching your beautiful face adorned with the sailor’s cap

At the same time I felt hurt by a snake’s bite,

But you drank the poison and gave me life.

  

       

ZEST FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS

Ok! In Black and White

A Zest friend wears a similar kind of apparel for his friend as is worn by Afghanistan for India.

You are not expected to understand the above point. Thank god Afghanistan does not have a popular cricket team, or you would have related it with the cricket boards.

Well Zest is as important in my college as nuclear reactors are to japan. Some students here have an ultimate dream of becoming the chieftain of fest.

Hence this phenomenon of zest friends get its identity.

DISCLAIMER:  all references are purely intentional.

To explain the relation between zest friends and best friends, let me start with a simple equation.

Zest  friends= friends + hawabazzi

                Or

Best friends= friends- hawabazzi

                Or

Hawabazzi = ???? (will come to it later)

To prove the above equations lemme consider an arbitrary value ‘B=a student having a prominent position in zest’

A zest friend will always want hawabazzi and for that he has to approach ‘B’ to make him/her the very best friend.

CHARACTERISTICS OF ZEST FRIENDS:-

(tareeekayy head banne kay :P)

&1.More than 60 percent of zest friends are females. (now that’s not a male chauvinistic remark!). They would not talk to B in 3 years but now they will send messages regularly.(good morning sir, gunie dear, so happy u r ma frn, where were u in last 3 years?????aaahaaaaaaaaaan…).

&2.They wud strongly hate B but at the time of the fest, they will prove that they always liked him/her as Gerald butler loved Hilary swank(my favourite) in ‘ps I love u’.

&3.They will grunt and grab at Bs ankle.

&4.They will wear very heavy perfume preferably SWS.

CHARECTERISTICS OF B:-

IF B has a banda/bandi already then zest friend will end up being a sheep. watt lagegi beta yahan bhi..

If she wasn’t meant to be sheared then god wont have made her a sheep. :)

ELSE IF B is a bewa then there are chances that zest friends will have a cake walk. They will easily get the key to the door.

HAWABAAZI:-

Hawabaazi is a complex conjugate of Tanhaiyaan.

The ones who are alone with no real friends in the college need to exhibit ‘hawabaazi’ to prove to the world that they are the most desired ones..

Trends –

Each and every girl will dress up like Madonna and guys will be left wondering why they thought her to be a clone of mayawati.(oxidation reactions zindabad- Ms. Bleaching).

These zest friends will hence move away from B as soon as fest gets over..happy hunting…even B wont loose anything. Its ironical to see people shed their ego's (the fountainhead positive 1's) and change their color as chameleons when the best thing they can do is just enjoy the celebrations and dance like no one is watching.

Best wishes for a memorable event.

Its clandestine

Exhausted (wow!what a word to start with) from d 'Percentage and average" class where we solved problems in which investments worth Rs.crores were involved, I felt a little uncomfortable and sat in metro (wonder when i will get to play with crores in real :P). The journey was of 35 min,15 km stretch from"Central Secretariat to Badarpur". I closed my eyes and an angelic face thrilled me..My Goodness! How can it happen?? It was you. Are you stalking me??

I came back to the real world where two of my monster yet best friends were sitting with me, both drawing awe from fellow passengers. Mayank was reading a German newspaper (which he bought from Connaught place-big money) and Neelesh had his eyes burning with the glory of "Pratiyogita Darpan". I can't even think of telling this to them because Best friends are Best at making mockery of such things. Anyways they have already linked my name to every girl I know, we know, they know and nobody know; they are very caring :P

I closed my eyes again and summoned u back. This time you were a bit reluctant. My associates tell me girls play a lot of mind games. I am a mere simpleton to your eccentricities. I tried to hide that blush which got reflected on my face. The smoke only arises when the fire breaks out.

You must be very special. I won't say you are beautiful because the word is defined and you are still behind a locked door.

But I still enjoy your fragrance where ever I go which makes me believe that I can be loved the way I am. You laugh at my jokes which are very simple yet complex for everybody else, not to forget you have a million dollar smile.

Did someone just said valentines day?? (the train stopped and Neelesh growled at me)

"No yaar, You know me, I will tell you if that happens" I smirked.

"Mayank teach us some abusive words in German". We matched our steps out like soldiers..

I DARE TO...

i will stand on the 50th floor of an urban mansion,not beacause i desire to buy all 50 floors,but yes i am in love with the view and i dare to dream..

i will wear an excellent tie with formal clothing,i know its a little old fasion,but yes that proper living like in contemporary hollywood flicks fascinate me and i dare to carry it..

i will have a beautiful soulmate,who will be my best friend,supportive and understanding,complete my family,i never flirt but i dare to feel it..

i have a name which means to pacify(prashant) in accordance with the pacific ocean which is' born to be big', i will compliment my name and i dare to persist..

Not sure of whether this audacity will reap results but living with it makes my life worthwhile because I DARE TO DREAM..

she smirked

my friends welcomed a replica of megan fox;
i was sitting a little far,contented and orthodox;
she smirked at whatever i did,good or bad;
raking for a friendship that i never had;
i confess she could have been my friend so fast;
but i was lost in thoughts of my ghostly past;
now i see her smile and feel elated;
forget all the things that i ever hated...

WHY EVERYTHING?? why everything??

What words should I choose, to say what I desire?
Which stone should I turn to put my wings on fire?
Mba, m.tech, why not get into a psu
Be an entrepreneur and steer clear of this hue
Good marks, weighty position, I want that stage
Who the hell is in my lane, I’ll put them in a cage
Why on seeing the mouse in the rattrap I feel the pain
I try and feature everywhere, struggle to make any possible gain
The ache is so proverbial but what is its need?
Why not live every moment and uproot it like a weed
I don’t need a thing, I have my share of lot
If you see me beam, its words that I have got
Omg that star, do you have a skoda car?
“ I am fine” I would rather say,
heavenly diamonds make my way
god reveals his grandeur through simple things
on those things I will consign my wings
an angel in my ambience sings
Prashant why everything?? Why everything??

SOMEONE ON MY MIND

-Prashant goyal

At 12.30 am, I sit with my book
Trying to have a look
Someone on my mind
Has already made me blind…
Giving signals off the shore
But I doubt, am I that mature???
Walks with me at my Alma matter
Sheer grace! Everyone is flatter(ed)
I am not an exception
Clean bold to her perfection...
When talk with me, brings her winsome side
Flirting with the sea like smiling tide
What is her colour? Is it pink or blue?
I think I know but don’t really have a clue.
As days pass, our friendship grows
Fearing that end which nobody knows..
Which road should I take, somebody tell??
My heart aches when my feelings swell...
Now its 1 and my words have a dimension
The curiosity is over with all apprehensions
But I am sure to be enough gentle and kind
SOMEBODY ON MY MIND
HAS ALREADY MADE ME BLIND.

FLAGS IDENTITY: BOX OR AIR

-by prashant goyal

On 15th aug,2010, I found a kite on my terrace jeweled in Indian tricolour,
And raised it like a flag,
As I spoke wid love nd pride;
“M blessed 2 b an Indian” I said,
To a friend of mine who was sitting by my side.
my neighbor, who lives next door,
He's a citizen, like me, was sitting in front of his laptop,
Chatting and enjoying wid a muslim girl in Afghanistan.
"My flag stays in its box this year,"
Said my neighbor, boiling mad.
"The terrible shape this country’s in,
The future looks nothing but bad.
"Taxes, scandal, indifference and crime,
On our land like a giant stain."
“cwg games going to d gutter due to corruption,
contrary to the national gain”
“u r volunteering na??
wht difference u can make?
When everybody’s endeavour is in vain” He asked me….
I told him to tell all this menace to d girl,
With whom he was chatting…
The girl said "We have all that, and worse,
But it’s against the law to complain."
My neighbor looked startled, but not subdued;
Then he started in on the Press:
"There’s nothing but bad news; the headlines are bleak."
(It gets me down, too, I confess.)
"Our news is all good," said d girl,
"It’s just how you’d like to be.
We know what our government wants us to know;
Our press is controlled, you see."
My neighbor spun ‘round and marched toward his house,
And here is the end to my story:
The next time we saw him, he was out in his yard,
Proudly raising Old Glory.

(dedicated to ma motherland on the eve of the most important day in the history of independent INDIA).
Proudly wishing u Happy Independence Day…..